spiristirrer

I did not stand on a long line early today. I was in the comfort of my bed resting after a very long thanksgiving day. I am wondering though about this “tradition” of making a line early to beat the crowds for good deals on stuff.

The church struggles to find a voice in the world today. Often in the conversations there is talk about a lack of commitment on the part of young people, “they don’t commit to anything,” I’ve hear it said. Another common reason is how busy young people are today. People do not have the time for another program or responsibility. Yet another relates to the difficulty of religious life, maybe we are asking too much of people?

Then comes “Black Friday” and it blows all our assumptions about people. Today people made plans to be there at very specific times, made rooms in the schedule, and battled early morning, crowds, and financial resources for what they wanted to get. Many even invited people to come along and join them in this exciting time!

I wonder how we can offer Christ in a way that’s compelling to those around us. People are making commitments, making time, and sacrificing for those things that are important. My hunch is that making it less commitment centered, more flexible, and easier to follow is not the answer.

How about the church being where people are? Going (instead of hoping people will come to us) with the deep well of the Christian message and creating ways of being in relationships that call all of us to a deeper relationship with each other and the world. Creating a space that welcomes the questions and where we call each other to accountability for the ways our way of life bring life or take it a way.

Doing this does not guarantee crowds. After all the rich young ruler walked away because Jesus’ teaching was difficult, it demanded surrender. (Luke 18:18-25) What it does assure is our participation in the kingdom work of Jesus in the world. Our engagement in the apostolic work of proclaiming forgiveness and repentance, proclaiming that God loves us too much to allow the world to continue its unloving ways towards self, neighbor and God.

This Sunday begins our Advent journey. We slow down while the world around us speeds up, we hope in a world that at times is hopeless, we wait in a world that at times does not think that waiting matters. Now let us leave our beautiful sanctuaries and stand in the busy lines of life and proclaim that God so loved the world!

In his book Jayber Crow Wendell Berry tells the story of a town barber and his journey towards vocation. After a devastating flood Jayber finds himself waking up in a shelter, safe, dry, and comfortable. After such a night he felt the need to thank someone, he was so overwhelmed by being safe, finding shelter, finding a sort of home on that terrible night that he was “captured by gratitude.”

Once again we will gather around tables, with family and friends, to feast! Feasting is a wonderful way to expresses our comfort and celebrate the ways that we have been blessed in this past year. The stories we share are also important. The stories remind us that we are connected and that in spite of the happenings of the year we have been blessed, we have each other!

As we gather this year I am reminded that there is a difference between being thankful and gratitude. Saying thank you can be an automatic response, a polite way to acknowledge another. We say thank you all of the time, to our children, co-workers, and to the person at the cash register. I believe gratitude is is a state of being. A basic posture of our lives as people. Its the realization and internalization that everything is a gift. The air we breath, the creation that we enjoy, the relationships that we have. This realization helps us recognize our interconnection, our common humanity, our connection to all of creation.

I wonder what it would take for us on this thanksgiving to be “captured by gratitude?” We hear of the continued economic struggles, the high unemployment, the break of cholera in places like Haiti. We also hear about the continued war in Afghanistan, the slow referendum in the Sudan, and the continued partisan wars in our country. All of these things could easily be the rising waters of a flood, where is our shelter?

Just the other day a group from my congregation was frying turkeys to feed a group of college students a thanksgiving feast. We were busy watching turkeys, talking and drinking our coffee. Out of nowhere comes this man asking for “prayer,” this stranger had already been kicked out of a few places and was angry, embarrassed, and defensive. A few of us engaged him in conversation and soon pain and disappointment took the place of the anger and defensiveness. After prayer the real need came to the surface, a need for food and shelter, “just for the night.” When we said that we could help him, that we could feed him a warm meal and put him up for the night, his demeanor changed completely. He could not believe it . . . he was captured and we were captured also.

Time and time again Jesus called us to love each other, to provide for each other, to respect each other. Time and time again he took the little, broke it, blessed it, and gave it and it was enough! In times of difficulty our common humanity provides us with the shelter that we need to weather the storms of life. We lean on each other, sometimes lean on the graciousness of strangers, to help us carry on. Maybe this is what Jesus meant when he said that he would be with us always?

This thanksgiving may we go beyond saying thank you, may we open our eyes to the abundance in our lives and find ways to share this abundance with others. In other words may the people of God become the shelter for the many that are facing the rising waters of life, may we be captured by gratitude as we capture others!

It appeared in my in-box, a renewal notice. I was told that spiritstirrer.flywheelstaging.com was about to expire, if I did not attend to this soon there would be no more spiritstirrer.flywheelstaging.com. Did I want spiritstirrer.flywheelstaging.com to continue?

The last six months have been challenging in a variety of ways. Struggle is one of the most common “juanisms” attributed to me, and the word certainly describes the last six months. When such times happen in my life I tend to retreat to my own little world. My muse tends to leave me and I do much spiritual work in my personal journal and in conversations with those closest to me. All this to say that I have not felt like saying much in a blog or felt inspired to comment on the many comings and goings in the world, the church, and the life of faith.

In the last six months I have thought much about my commitment to this space. Why do I keep it? Who’s reading anyway? Should I “bow out” of the blogosphere? What contribution do I make?

At times of discernment I am thankful for the group of friends (who are really family) that remind me of why this space exists. They are the faithful readers of this space and also my faithful companions in my journey of faith. They help me grow in my discipleship and encourage me when things don’t go as I planned. They also keep me accountable to commitments made and to the practices (including writing here) that give me life!

I’m glad that I received a “renewal notice.” Sometimes I wish we could receive one from God. “Renew now,” God would say, “I’m ready to host you, use you, and provide a place for you for another year.” “Are you ready to utilize the space given to you?”

Yes I am Lord!

Here are some of the “stirrings” of the last 6 months that have not made it to the page but that I hope to develop in the following weeks/months/year:

• Friends that become family
• Pastoral Care is not the Mission of the Church
• Why I am Not a Biblical Literalist
• Why all the political fear mongering, polarizing speech, & exclusion in the church and the nation?
• The Dream Church Series
• On Guranteed Appointments
• Reflections on My First 5 Years of Ministry
• My Vocation as a Gatherer of People
• Why I Wear a White Alb for Worship & not a Robe
• Parenting as Spiritual Formation
• Dreams for My Children: Photographer/Activist/Poet

I am thankful to be given the opportunity to share my thoughts with all who stumble upon this space. Aware that not all have a voice I take seriously my task as story teller and spiritual companion. I look forward to this renewal and hope that those of you who read these stirrings find in them encouragement & challenge. Thank you for your patience, attention, & love!

I leave you with a quote from Pablo Neruda that has been a source of renewal for me:

And to keep me from falling, to help me plant my feet firmly on the ground, to continue fighting, bequeath to my heart the errant wine & the implacable bread of your sweetness. (from “Brother Bartolome De las Casas”)

Peace, Juan+ (a.k.a spirit stirrer)

I just returned from a three days with my fellow elders. I’ll have to admit that whenever we gather I arrive with mix feelings. I am partially excited to meet with colleagues and friends but am also partially hesitant for we can be an interesting bunch (myself included).

This year we were tackling the very complex issue of clergy spiritual growth. This was not the first time that we discussed this issue together but there was a sense of urgency that something had to come out of this gathering that would help all of us grow in our relationship with God.

Suggestions were many, discussions were at times very raw and difficult but one thing that seem to come up often was how busy we all were. In fact as I think about our busyness seems to have become the stuff of greeting. No longer a kiss of peace or a firm handshake but a quick assessment of our busyness and its comparison to the other persons busyness. For example:

Juan: Hey, Bob is nice to see I’m glad that you came, I know how busy you are . . .

Bob: Hey Juan it is nice to see you, it has been busy and I almost could not make it here (chuckle) but I know you know about that, I know how busy you are . . .

This busyness seemed to be quiet a stumbling block to all of us gathered to figure out how to grow in our spiritual lives. It would be nice to pray more (really at all) and to engage the scriptures devotionally but we are so busy. Even days off are a challenge for many it seems, and we heard some confessions about that while the rest of us nodded in understanding.

We finally agreed that all of us needed to engage one another and keep one another accountable for our spiritual growth. That we needed to find the time to be in a series of accountable relationships that would help us grow in our love of God and neighbor. We basically agreed to try harder, and to keep each other accountable to it.

On my way home I got to thinking about my own busyness, so here’s my confession:

I am really not busy!!!!

I take my day off and spend it with my wife and kids (I actually take both my days off, Saturday & Monday). I go home for lunch almost every day. Lazy Sunday afternoons are great gifts to me and to those that I love. I even take vacation time!

Maybe I want to say I’m busy because it proves something . . . how important I am, how needed, how irreplaceable. After all I don’t want to look like a slacker, lazy, or that somehow I am not earning my keep.

Here is my latest epiphany: we all have 24 hours in a day and the ways that we parcel this gift says everything about what matters most to us.

I am thankful for the responsibilities that I have taken on. I am aware of each of those and each brings its own set of expectations, deadlines, and opportunities for growth. At times I have also taken on too much (reasons for this can be found two paragraphs above) and have neglected what matters most.

So I guess what I’m trying to say is that I am no longer going to put busyness at the forefront of my encounters and conversations with others. Instead I’m going to listen carefully and enjoy the conversation, I have the time!

I also pray that as a church leader I model for those I serve and for the world a life giving rythm of work, play, solitude, community, talking and listening. I know I am not too busy for that!!

The last year has been an interesting, and at times difficult one. I’ve been blessed beyond belief and I continue to be the receiver of blessings, even in the midst of difficulty.

At the heart of much of my reflections in the last year has been the purpose and mission of the Church. Why are we here? What does it mean to be the church? Are we living into that calling?

Related to these musings about the Church are questions about the pastoral vocation and the ways that I feel called to lead the church into its mission.

As some of you know I find much inspiration in the work and words of Archbishop Oscar Romero of El Salvador. As I was reflecting on the pastoral vocation I came across a quote that I will carry with me in this next year.

As pastor, I invite you to listen

to the hoarse, imperfect echo of my words.

But do not regard the instrument; regard the one

who bids me tell you of God’s infinate love.

Be converted! Be reconciled!

Love one another!

Fashion a people of the baptized,

a family of God’s children!

Those who think that my preaching is political,

that it incites to violence,

as though I were the cause

of all the evils in the land,

forget that the church’s word

does not invent the evils in the land,

forget that the church’s word

does not invent the evils in the world;

it casts a light on them.

The light shows what is there,

it does not create it.

The great evil is already there,

and God’s word wants to undo those evils.

It points them out, as it must,

for people to return to right ways.

(Archbishop Oscar Romero in The Violence of Love, p 200)

I will continue to tell people about God’s love, I will submit myself and call others to constant conversion and to the work of reconciliation. And on a day and time filled with words of hatred, division and contempt, I will continue to call God’s people to love one another, especially those with whom we disagree.

On this 32nd birthday I am more convinced than ever that our church & our world needs the good news of Jesus Christ! I intend to continue to proclaim it in word and deed for that is my calling!

Margaret, are you grieving
Over Goldengrove unleaving?
Leaves, like the things of man, you
With your fresh thoughts care for, can you?
Ah! as the heart grows older
It will come to such sights colder
By and by, nor spare a sigh
Though worlds of wanwood leafmeal lie;
And yet you will weep and know why.
Now no matter, child, the name:
Sorrow’s springs are the same.
Nor mouth had, no nor mind, expressed
What héart héard of, ghóst guéssed:
It is the blight man was born for,
It is Margaret you mourn for.

(“Spring and Fall: to a young child” by Gerard Manley Hopkins)

My dear Garrett,

I can’t believe that another year has gone by! It seems like the other day that I walked with you to your called place.

I clearly remember prayers said . . .

prayer for healing, prayers for life, prayers for comfort . . .

Some said that prayers were not answered, I guess mine were not strong enough, or loud enough, or maybe they did not carry the conviction that God had to answer to my demands.

Three years later though, I think prayers were answered!

We prayed for healing and healing has taken place in ways that cannot be easily described.

We prayed for life and still to this day you are a life giver in both figurative and literal ways.

We prayed for comfort and I can tell you that comfort has come like pouring rain.

Then there are the things that we did not pray for that God has so graciously given us!

Your brother Nate, whose eyes are a window to your visitation.

Freedom to live life to the fullest, knowing so well that it does not last forever

Certainty of vocation, in spite of life’s ambivalence

That day I felt the warmth of God’s Spirit as I placed my hands on your forehead and invoked God’s presence. I’ve invoked the holy many times since then . . . I’ve poured water over many heads, given crumbs (I prefer chunks) of bread to many hands, blessed many making covenants, and prayed with many others, as they too went, to their called place.

Yet, each time, I can see your eyes, I can feel your forehead, for you were and will always be the blessed saint that reminded me of God’s call to this work.

Three years . . . we still mourn, we still struggle with your “unleaving” and recognize better than ever that “sorrow’s springs are [all] the same” but we don’t mourn as those who have no hope! We know that you are with us, and will continue to be with us until we join you at the great banquet.

I’ll see you then . . .

Peace & much love, Juan+

______________________

I Invite you to read Garrett’s story here, follow his example and Donate Life!

A few weeks ago I had the great privilege of being a round-table leader for the Fund for Theological Education’s Leaders in Ministry Conference at Boston University. I was blessed to have an amazing group of undergraduate students who were discerning a call to religious leadership. Many times during our times together they would ask me about my vocation and why did I answer the call to pastoral leadership.

On the last day at the conference I remembered writing about my vocation for my ordination papers. Here is what I wrote a few years ago:

I believe that the center of my vocation is blessing: bread, water, oil, people, and places. Blessing is about invoking, reminding, and healing. Blessing is about being an agent for the divine who does the work. Blessing is about claiming and proclaiming the promise of God’s doings in us and in our world. Blessing communicates our baptismal identity as “sealed” people of God. I need blessing.

Maybe I need blessing because of my up bringing. Every night, every morning, every good bye or hello I would ask my loved ones for a “bendición” (blessing). “Bless me” I would ask and only then could I enter their home, go on a journey, or face my day or my night. So it is really no wonder that I want to bless. Many times in the middle of a hard day I remember that I am blessed. I remember that the holy has been invoked upon me. I remember:

“You are blessed,” Christ lives in you and works through you!

“You are blessed,” the great communion of saints intercedes on your behalf

and surrounds you with love!

“You are blessed,” you have been sealed by the Holy Spirit

with water, oil, and the laying on of hands!

“You are blessed” go now, carry bread broken, wine spilled,

water splashed, oil overflowing.

These are the signs of God’s Spirit using brokenness to bring wholeness,

healing and new beginning. You are blessed!

Go on blessing! This is your calling.

Five years of ordained ministry, two years as an ordained person. It has been an amazing journey so far and I look forward to the years to come.

I can still hear Bishop William Hutchinson saying “Pour out your Holy Spirit upon Juan Carlos Huertas for the work of an Elder in Christ’s Holy Church.”

I am still awed by this calling each time I put my stole on & remember the yoke, remember the promised Spirit.

Recently there have been many conversations about ministry in The United Methodist Church. Concerns about decreasing numbers, growing fiscal responsibilites, and an aging membership are forcing the church to have some crucial conversations about our life together.

Among those conversations there is the issue of clergy jobs and how effective clergy are in their tasks. (This conversation focuses almost entirely on elders who are pastors of local churches).

Some talk about the covenant that we make, our willingness to go where sent and the duty of the church to have a place.

In the gospel according to Luke Jesus sends seventy to be about the work of Jesus in the world. He tells them:

The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore ask the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest. ³Go on your way. See, I am sending you out like lambs into the midst of wolves. ⁴Carry no purse, no bag, no sandals; and greet no one on the road.

Two years ago the Spirit was called down upon me for the work of an Elder. I have blessed at the church’s calling of me to lead them into God’s kingdom here on earth. This calling is for a lifetime but how I function within this calling is not. I might live my calling to gather people around word, water, bread and wine alongside another way to make a living. The church at some point might also help me discern that is time for me to live my baptismal calling not as a leader of faith community.

No matter what the Spirit will continue to be out-poured for the work needed.

In the latest Christian Century magazine (November 3) David J. Wood, senior pastor of Glencoe Union Church in Glencoe Ill., reviews a book called From Midterms to Ministry: Practical Theologians on Pastoral Beginnings, ed. Allan Hugh Cole Jr. His review of this book solidified my own need to reflect more deeply on my own beginning and on what has transpired since.

I don’t yet have the privilege of decades in ministry. I am one of those young pastors who only has years behind him, and few at that! I’m now on my fifth year being called pastor . . . five years of attempting to lead a faith community, five years of joys, disappointments, and continued discernment.

Maybe the fact that it’s so fresh allows me to remember more vividly the transition. Those painful mornings when I would arrive in my office wondering what I was supposed to do. Or those “firsts:” funeral, visit, someone makes an appointment to “see” you, ICU visit, sermon, broken pipe, leaky roof, “personnel” problems . . . the list could go on!

I also remember the pain of letting go of my life as a student. It could be described as a grieving process. No longer part of a community of learning. No longer part of this important rhythm of learning, prayer, service. In some ways it was a deeply formative rhythm in my life.

Getting up early to lead morning prayers in the chapel. Going to class and soon finding myself back in the chapel, this time for word and table. Then after more classes and one more chapel service I would find myself in chapel again to close my week. This time the rhythm slowed as we gathered, heard, reflected, and broke bread! Now empowered I was ready for whatever came my way.

I found it jarring not to have this communal rhythm of learning, prayer, and service in the local church. It was almost like I could not find my way without it . . . I was not sure I even knew who I was without it.

It was replaced by a more mundane one. Phone calls, e-mail messages, paperwork, and people “stopping by.” And then there were the meetings, deadlines (another newsletter had to go out) and a run to the hospital. No morning prayer, no lecture or exciting theological conversation, no word and table . . .

Then Katrina came! We had no floods of water where I lived, we had floods of people. Anxious people, tired people, scared people, people hungry for good news! Collared I went . . . to where people were, oil stock in hand, ready to listen. The stories came, the tears, the sadness, the fear and little by little their stories and the stories of the many others since, became my rhythm.

I’ve tried to leave many times . . . to run away to a better, more fulfilling vocation. I have tried to convince myself that I’ve been called to other things, to less mundane things, to more heavenly things! But then a knock on the door of my office, a ringing phone, an invitation to come by is all it takes; someone wants to talk, someone wants to share their story. The words of morning prayer ring in my ears “O Lord Open My lips, that my mouth shall proclaim your praise!”

I’ve been called to this and God is still calling me to it. It is the mundane that God has called me to, it is the ministry of healing, forgiving, and reconciling. The ministry of blessing, breaking, sharing; the ministry of being present in the name of the anointed and poured out One, Jesus the Christ.

Now if I could just remember that each day is a pastoral beginning!

Peace, Juan+

As a pastor I am blessed to be there during important times in people’s life. Among my favorite times